about it

log,
its been a while since i've barely gotten closed to her
but...its not that close.she's somewhere far away now
she's cute.cuddly(i mean it)
funny.kind.cuddly.happy.adorable.cuddly.and so on

at first .i plan to,like,getting close,or just want to share laughs with her
but i dont know.i dont know how to describe this feeling i had

anyways.after reading one of her bulletin at friendster
i just noticed.she had a "kecengan".

yes.as in.someone she likes.

and i dont know.at some times.i wish the person was me.but some times im just scared if its me.

cause...ive been chatting wit her for quite some time now.and we're closer than when we're at school

there has been "signals"(if you get my meaning).
well..maybe its just me getting all too confident.hhe
but i just ,like, a little scared
i dont wanna give hopes to a girl.
and then,just leave her.

no

but i dont know.im different than what im at school(back then)

im ,how do you say, more talkative,'jackass', i just dont wanna care about other people thinks.hell wit them
this is me
and if you dont like me
you can just not be friends wit me
thats okay

back again
i do like her.she's adorable.but she drinks.and smokes
she tried to stop smoking now.im happy to heard that

its me.i just do a lot of thinking.and i hate this.
i always doubt something

like,"what if its like this",or,"what will happen if i do it "

i hate this

and i will change this

i will change my way of thinking and living